Britmileystina Aguilerspearcyrus

Well, Britney Spea-- sorry, Miley Cyrus, just released her new music video, wherein she dresses like a slutty peacock and comes as close to showing her boobs as a seventeen-year-old legally can. I must strain to hold back every ounce of testosterone and anti-establishment fire in my body to say this, but I'm not sure I approve. I just about never get offended by anything, but I think today I almost know what it feels like. I felt so dirty after watching "Can't Be Tamed." I work at a summer camp, and there are so many young girls whose innocence (innocences?) I value greatly, and today that was completely shattered. Most of them are huge Miley Cyrus fans, and would defend her to the death. Miley Cyrus was supposed to be the one who would break the norm, and be a good influence. She wasn't a whore, but she also wasn't an unlistenable, somber indie poet. It seems like every female artist these days strays one way or the other. Miley gave us hope and didn't deliver. She's like Obama's Afghanistan policy.

Why couldn't singers like Miley Cyrus separate their kid-friendly personas from their more adult ones? Comedians do it all the time. George Carlin had no problem separating "7 Dirty Words" from "Shining Time Station." Richard Pryor had no problem separating his on-stage persona from that cute family movie where a white guy buys him at a toy store (um...). So how 'bout it, Pink-- I'm sorry -- Miley? Put the slut dance on MTV, and on the side continue selling songs about going to the mall to seven-year-olds.

For one thing, her progression as an artist, that is, the narrative of her musical career, is inconsistent. It doesn't really make sense. Her last hit song was "Party in the USA," a song about the struggles she faced as a Hollywood outsider. As you know, she started at the bottom with her country star father and supporting role in Big Fish. But I digress. Her last hit song was "Party in the USA," where she struggled to fit in, and now suddenly she "Can't Be Tamed" and she's literally a whore. Also, she's some sort of bird or something. A bird you're supposed to want to fuck I guess.

But Miley assured Ryan Seacrest (I really seriously watch this shit) that "the video is not about being sexy, or who can wear less clothes...[Sex] is not the premise. It's about explaining the song and living the lyrics." What are the lyrics, you ask? First verse:

"For those who don't know me, I can get a bit crazy
Have to get my way, 24 hours a day
'Cause I'm hot like that
Every guy everywhere just gives me mad attention
Like I'm under inspection, I always get the tens
'Cause I'm built like that

I go through guys like money flyin' out their hands
They try to change me but they realize they can't
And every tomorrow is a day I never planned
If you're gonna be my man, understand
I can't be tamed..."

The actual content doesn't bother me so much as the Rumsfeldian divide between her words and actions.

But the most disappointing thing to me about Christina Aguiler-- I'm sorry -- Miley Cyrus' new direction is that, musically, this song is fucking terrible. It's no more terrible than most of the dreck on the radio, but it's absolutely no better, and she's clearly not putting a lot of work into this anymore. I wouldn't say I'm a fan of Miley Cyrus, but I think she's more talented than a lot of other celebrated "musicians" around these days, and her songs usually don't sound the same as everything else. "The Climb" actually sounds like a legitimate song. But things started to go downhill when she put out "Party in the USA," (which, by the way, she didn't write, nor has she apparently ever heard a Jay-Z song, let alone "moved her hips like 'yeah'" to one). And now it seems like she has just ripped a page right out of the Britney Spears playbook on this one.

Lady Gaga became a stripper so people would notice her and she could release good music. Miley Cyrus did the opposite.

-Joe